An Ode To Road Dogg
Dun dun dun
OH YOU DIDN’T KNOW
Dun dun dun
YOUR ASS BETTA CALL SOMEBODY!
With that one riff
A huge crowd reaction followed
A man with a microphone
And a unique look
Controlled an entire era
Dreadlocks tied back
A cutoff t-shirt
Baggy sweats with designs down the side
And boots with the RD front and center
Wrist taped arms
All tattooed up
And a demeanor
Of smug, cocky, and charm
All rolled into one
Once he entered the ring
With the fans on their feet
A microphone went to his lips
Pure gold would emanate from them
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
BOYS AND GIRLS
CHILDREN OF ALL AGES
D-GENERATION X PROUDLY BRINGS TO YOU
THE R TO THE O TO THE A TO THE D
THE D TO THE O TO THE DOUBLE G
ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMES!
Some men are attributed to what they do in the ring
Others outside
The Road Dogg was both
The Attitude Era is always discussed
For a lot of the insanity that happened on live TV
However
The Road Dogg was one of those characters
That is sometimes overlooked
For the success he brought to that time period
A famous member of the Armstrong clan
Road Dogg grew up under the tutelage of the legendary
Bullet Bob
Had an education growing up in Southern Style
Gained his PhD in the United States Marine Corps
A true man’s man
Along with his brothers Scott, Steve, and the late, great Brad
Road Dogg had the world of potential
Although not the greatest catch-as-catch-can
The D-O-G-G oozed charisma through his pores
He made it to the WWF in 1994
As Jeff Jarrett’s “Roadie”
Even helping Double J winning the Intercontinental championship
But being second fiddle
Wasn’t for him long
Unlike Double J
The Roadie DID SING “With My Baby Tonight”
And the microphone
Got him up and running
When 1996 rolled around
However through the middle of 1997
The singing down the aisle
Grew stagnant with the Universe
It wasn’t until Shotgun Saturday Night
In October 1997
When after a months long rivalry
Jesse JamMes and Rockabilly
Ended their riff
And due to one guitar shot
To the cranium of the Honky Tonk Man
The New Age Outlaws were born
Add in a lethal injection of Attitude
The greatest tag team of the golden era of wrestling
Were shot to the moon
5 Tag Team Titles and joining DX later
The Outlaws became one of the WWF’s greatest teams
Displaying utter domination
Over every single tag team that came down the path
The Road Dogg’s mouth
And Billy Gunn’s muscle
Made for a total cohesive pair
Yet during this time
The WWF tried to turn Mr. Ass into a main event superstar
When the team was split up in the spring of 1999
However it was the Road Dogg
Who broke out as the biggest entity
In the eyes of the fans
In my opinion
Jesse James held the crowd in the palm of his hands
And the wrong Outlaw
Was given the wrong opportunity
Everything inside the ring Road Dogg did
Was not a wasted moment
One jab
Two jab
Three jab
A unique dance move
Right haymaker to the dome
Bounces off the ropes
A Shake, Rattle, and Kneedrop
A pickup and reverse waistlock
Pump handle setup
Pelvic thrust from behind
Which JR screamed “Doggy Style” from the commentary desk
And then a slam down
The Road Dogg would be victorious
The singles accomplishments speak for themselves
Undefeated reign as Hardcore Champion
Successfully defending the Intercontinental Championship at WrestleMania XV
Technically owns the rights to DX with X-Pac
Invented the Dogg Pound match
But it was the fans that hung on every word
Every movement
Every move
Everything that did not work with Mr. Ass
Worked completely with the Road Dogg
As a on-screen character
There was so much left on the bone
For Road Dogg left to do
For me as a fan
2000 was a let down for Road Dogg
Being a McMahon-Helmsley soldier
And falling in the background
The low point was at SummerSlam
Getting kicked in the groin
Losing to X-Pac
It looked as if Road Dogg was lost
Until he found K-Kwik
And on Sunday Night Heat
At WWF New York
They KILLED it Gettin’ Rowdy
And formed a cool tag team
Even getting a title shot at Armageddon in December
It looked like a new vision creatively for the D-O-G-G
Sadly the Road Dogg had his demons
And left the WWF at the peak of the Attitude Era in 2001
Thankfully
He has cleaned up
And is the MAN at the head of creativity
Writing SmackDown Live
He even found a way
After being one of 3 in a Kru
Forming a Gang with another James
And starting a Mafia with his Voodoo Kin
Back onto WWE TV
Reforming the Outlaws
And winning the WWE Tag Team Titles in 2014
But the legendary moments he was involved in
From being B-Lo and Vince
To smashing the Headbangers with a boom box
From pushing Cactus and Funk off the stage in a dumpster
To successfully defended the Hardcore Title against Mankind
Going tit-for-tat on the microphone
With Chris Jericho at SummerSlam 99
Piledriving Al Snow in the snow
Taking a leak on DOA’s motorcycles
Pulling a fast one in a triple threat tag team title match
Invading the Norfolk Scope
Helping X-Pac make Kane say his first word
Without the electrolarynx
“SUUUCCK ITTT”
Most of all
He made the transition from country singer
To hip hop rapper
Within a three year span
And it was SEAMLESS
The bottom line
The Road Dogg is an underrated performer
And is sometimes overlooked
As a focal point of the Attitude Era
He was more than DX
More than a New Age Outlaw
More than a HHH henchman
He was the most popular “gimmick” of the time
And there is no doubt about that.
AND IF YOU AIN’T DOWN WITH THAT
I GOT TWO WORDS FOR YA…
You know what they are.
Jon Harder
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