Dear Dad...

Dear Dad,

It’s been ten years. Ten long years.

The last time I saw you was in a hospital bed, giving me the words “No regrets” as I turned and left the room. Six days later, on the phone, you told me you loved me. The next morning, you were gone.

I will not lie to you when I say that the past ten years have been really hard without you.

For years, I held such grief over your death. I truly felt responsible for it. For whatever reason, I felt as if I disappointed you as a son. I believed that I didn’t live up to your expectations when you were around. I wanted to make you proud.

You were my first hero. You were the guy I wanted to be. Sometimes, a little too well personality wise. There are plenty of things that I am that are traits of yours to a T.

But there are other things I aspire to be like you were. You are incredibly smart, far smarter than I. You were a great provider. I always got, within reason, everything that I wanted because of your hard work. You also always had the ability to speak your mind, something I still struggle with in life. I respected that about you a ton. Still do now.

I wish you were still around now, in so many ways. Honestly, I think maybe we would relate to each other more outside of the Mets or wrestling. Maybe not.

But I do know one thing: because of you, whether right or wrong, I try to aspire to live by “No regrets”. It is very hard most days, and I fail in that regard. But there are some days where I succeed. Those words to me meant the change I needed to aspire to be. Am I there yet? No. But every day, I get closer to what I need to.

And, by the way, I know you sent Jen my way, and I honestly don’t think I’d be as happy as I am if that didn’t happen. Thank you for that.

I don’t think you realize the impact of you not being here made on me. Spiritually, you’re around. But I miss the physical nature of you on Earth.

Today will be tough. Not just for me, but for Mom and the brothers. In our way, even though we have moved forward and prospered, we all miss you in our own ways. But we’re all doing well, and that definitely must make you happy.

Thank you Big Norm. I love you and I miss you. You were one of a kind. No regrets.

Love,

Jon